The Homeless Guy

So there is this homeless guy that walks up and down the street in front of my house everyday, carrying on an arguement with himself, and muttering to no one in particular.

But lately, right before dark, he sneaks into my front yard and opens the bird feeder and separates all the sunflower seeds from the rest of the bird seed, and piles it up at the foot of the tree. Then he looks around to make sure no one is watching, and he picks up some pinecones and two or three small sticks and puts them in his pocket, secretively and sneakily like a shoplifter. Then he walks over to the neighbors hedges and pees on them.

So I called the police department to see what I should do about it. I said, "Well, can I just go ahead and shoot him?" They replied that I could not. So I asked, "Well, what if I shot him in the butt with one of those cheap BB guns?"

So apparently, if someone is separating bird seed, and stealing pinecones and sticks from your front yard, shooting him in the butt with one of those cheap BB guns is a perfectly acceptable legal recourse.